when i was younger, she 7 and under she used to love me. my dad is more of the abusive parent. but when i got older, i wasnt perfect in school, so she started comparing me to other children about their grades. my mom compared me infront of my friend in 4th grade, how she had more b’c than c’s and i had more c’s than b’s. u see its not my fault. we moved from my country to canada when i was 7. and i never even got to go to grade one. so thosr basic skills of math were never learned, i ddidnt even know english well. so obviously that effected my marks as i got older, cause i was behind from the canadian kids. and my mom cared about me more than know, but i personally knowthat the older i got the more she didnt like me, cause i wasnt as cute as a button no more. trust me it is VERY obvious. and when i got older near teenager, and a bit over, she started getting more violent on me. becasue i had my own opninons about life, she had hers, and they clashed. so sometimes she would harrass me in a way, liek scratcing or like really hurting punihsments. when i was younger my mom told me that she would never let my dad beat me up, and she neevr did either. but when i got older she started to more emotionally be mean to me, like ur gonna get nowhere in life and clean toilets, my dad is the same. she would start to get more violent on me. a quote from her, even if she tells me it is just an expression. i find it quite vile.
“IM GONNA KILL YOU”
a quote from my dad when he is angry, and my dad is serious. my mom told me if she let my dad, he could actually kill me.
my dad quote,
“BE QUIET OR WWHEN I GET THEIR UR GONNA BEAT YOU UP SO BAD”
its obviously told in a different language, but this is the best i could do. and its not like my dad never did that. chase me all the way upstairs. where i had to run so fast to lock the door in the bathroom cause i was afraid he would beat me up.
when i went into grade 7, its also another part where my parents hated me more and more, casue i was a teenager. so obviously as a teenager, u would have other opinions of life. i was never a bad kid. i neevr did drugs, or go places like where kids dont belong. or do things many teens do today liek drink. i actually never drank or smoke or gone to any teenage wild parties in my whole life. im a good kid. u know how many parents would lvoe to have this kid. the kids on my school drank from as young as 14. my parents are not thank-ful for me. grade 7 was the time around when they might have become more agreessive on me, for no good reason. in grade 7 i still acted pretty much like a child, and played with toddlers, even though kids my age did more “cool things”. in grade 4, my dad beat the crap out of me, jus t because i was at a friends house from after school and my parents didnt know. im just a kid, i didnt know any better, i wanted to play. i was like 8 years old, or 10 maybe. so when my parents picked me up going home, i was screaming so loud when getting in the car, casue i would know they would beat me up. too bad my friensd mom who saw me scream did nothing about it. if u are worried about ur children u dont beat the crap out of them. from that moment i was too afrai to do anything, and really didnt know much. when iwas younger 7 and under no one beat the shit out of me when i went outside to play without people knowing hwere i was. but the oder i got the more hated i was, the more beat up i was. i got abused once, in when i might have been ages, 13-15, not sure when. i wanted fries, than my dad faked he had a headache, went home. they were so angry, for no reason. we went back to the hotel, casue we were on small vacation. one week. so when we wrnt back to the hotel, my mom scared the bottomless pit of fear from me. she like i wouldnt even call this spanking, this would efinatly go to the abused section. casue i had major headache after, like it killed so bad, i could sleep at night. my parents dont even love each other, but my mom beat me up casue my dad faked a headcahe. i bet it wasnt as bad as the headache i had after the abuse. i have many things to share, but all i am saying is that my mom never really allowed me to go aoutside and do things,after we came to canada,and thew country i came from its more dangeroius than this one probably, and i was a kidnergarten student with more freedom. and i proved that the older i got the more my parents heated me. i obviously knew of that feelings, so i started not feeling loved by them, andf not really giving off that daughet aura, casue they just didnt have the parent aura. supposdly called 
ver-protection” during a point in my life by my mom, and not allowed to do certain things, i grown to be dependent on my mom, for things, and know all of a sudden, she decided to abandon me, and the things parents are supposed to do with their kids, they decided not to help me anymore with my problems, casue i have a job, where i am payed udner minimum wage. they jsu t needed a r
they jsu t needed a reason forthemto let me out of their sight. so know all of a sudden, i dont even know about lif, my mom is like go book ur own appointment for the hairdresswr. DO U KNOW THE FEELING OF ABADNOMENT THAT I FEEL RIGHT KNO. that parents are supposedto help their kid with ebfore school starts and where they are too lazy to hlep u. my moms is like u wanted independence well than do it urseld. she is so lazy man! she finally took advantage of that fact that i just got a job two months ago. I DONT EVNE KNOW ENOUGH TO BUY FOOD FOR A MONTH WITH THAT CASH I EARN.
so IF ANYONE TELLS ME TO MOVE OUT. dont evne think about it, i could never afford an aparment with that money i make. nearly impossible, sepcially being under 18, and earning under minimum wage. so my question is, why does my mom like me as a little girl, and know she hates me casue im not as cuddly.
im not and adult im a teeanger.
